Monday, November 8, 2010


As I woke up this morning I realized that the holiday season has officially begun. All morning I found myself getting anxious any time I thought about Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up. At first I thought it was just the anxiety of the craziness that comes with holiday shopping but I quickly realized that wasn't it at all. The anxiety was arising from simply thinking about last holiday season. Let me explain...

Last October was one of the best months of my life - hence probably why I looked so forward to October this month and all it had to offer: the great memory of Cami's birth, Halloween, snuggling with fall scented candles lit, etc. Last November did not leave me with the same fuzzy feelings unfortunately and it all seemed to spiral downhill from there.

Last November, December, January and February were some of the toughest times in my entire life. November 15th my precious angel from above was admitted to Fairfax Hospital after a long day in the ER and an extremely nerve wrecking ambulance transport ride (almost a helicopter ride) only to find out that she had a heart condition (Supraventricular Tachycardia) - I felt like my whole world was falling apart. How could anything be wrong with this precious gift from god? Did I do something wrong to cause this? After what seemed like forever (5 days) she was finally released from the hospital but not without more SVT episodes at home. The next month of constantly checking her heart rate and constant fear that she would end up back in the hospital had us asking over and over again, "Why us?" This alone caused a lot of stress and tension for us during the holiday season, but that was not the end.

Early January my husband went in for a kidney biopsy only to find out a few weeks later that he has a rare form of kidney disease. Once again - my whole world seemed to be crashing down on me. I had to try so hard to take care of a baby with a heart condition AND a husband with kidney disease and yet hold myself together and stay strong for them both. Just thinking about all of the stress and worry that I dealt with back then makes me well up with tears right now as I type.

Early February I got a call from my Mom - who flew out to Rochester, NY suddenly when she got word that my grandmother was not doing well - to tell me that my grandma had passed away and that we had another angel in heaven to take care of our family. Not surprisingly this added to our stress even more but at the same time this is when things started to look up for our family.
I truly believe my grandmother got right to work when she got up to Heaven.

In late February Jon got an appointment with one of the best nephrologist's in the Northern Virginia area and since then he has gotten nothing but good news at his monthly appointments. His medications are decreasing and his kidney function remains stable (in fact it has actually improved a bit). He feels good and we are so relieved to know he is under the best care and doing so wonderfully. STRESS RELIEVED!

I am SOOOO proud to announce that Cami has not had any heart episodes since early December of 2009 (almost a year!) and just last month she came COMPLETELY off of all of her heart medications with NO problems! Her EKG's look great and show no signs of SVT! STRESS RELIEVED!!!

I guess when I actually think about last holiday season, although it gives me great anxiety due to to memories of all of the difficult times we dealt with, it should actually give me great happiness and anticipation for this holiday season and all that I have to be thankful for. I can't wait to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years this year enjoying my family and without so many stressors and worries weighing on my back. Last year at this time was such a difficult time for us, but it just made our little three person family so much stronger!

We have come a long way in the past year and I can honestly say that I am now looking forward to a stress free holiday season and lots of love, snuggling, and just good quality fun family time!

P.S. - I think what Cami is saying in this picture is, "Bring on the food, fun and endless amounts of Christmas presents!!!"

No comments:

Post a Comment