Peaceful!

This afternoon I did something that was new to me. I washed all of Cambria's 0-3 months sized clothes in preparation for really getting her drawers and closet in her nursery organized. Usually I HATE doing to the laundry. Today was the exact opposite.

As I was folding her clothes (and some receiving blankets, little mittens, etc.) I found myself off in my own world and in complete peace! I found myself smiling as I picked up little onesies. It so suddenly didn't matter that today is Sunday and I have to go back to work tomorrow. Washing and folding her clothes made it that much more real that in less than 8 weeks our little Princess will be here.

After I folded all of her clothes I carefully carried them upstairs and spent a good half hour by myself in her nursery just loving life. I put her clothes away and organized some things and all the while I was in total bliss. I still feel like I need to pinch myself and remind myself every now and then that this is real. Maybe I just need to do baby laundry more often, especially on Sunday's, so it helps put things into perspective for me going into the work week. Who knew laundry could bring someone so much peace and bliss?

32 Week Letter

Dear Cambria,

Another week has come and gone and as always, it's so hard to believe! This week I have been very busy at work and you have just been along for the ride. I have been getting many more comments lately too from students and coworkers about the size of you (and my belly), so obviously they are all noticing how much you've grown lately. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticing how big you're getting, but at the same time I'm not sure how I feel about some of the comments that I get either. I do know that I love the fact that each day that passes brings me one day closer to meeting your beautiful face!!

This week your Daddy bought a baby carrier for you from someone at work. He is a little nervous about how he's going to carry you anywhere (to walk the dog, go inside Best Buy, go to the mall, etc.). Not only is he worried about the functionality of carrying you - but you know your Daddy, and he's definitely worried about carrying you in style too! The sling that Mommy got for you is too 'girly' according to your Daddy and so he needed something a little more 'manly' that he would be comfortable carrying you in. Tonight we both tried on the new carrier he purchased and we were getting so excited just thinking of having you inside it so we can go places as a family!

I also want to thank you for something this week. I want to thank you for allowing me to get a little bit more sleep than you have been in the past few weeks. For a while you were a little ninja at night and you would just beat me up all night long, thus keeping me wide awake. This past week you have been more calm at night and so I have been able to sleep in longer stretches (at least until my bladder wakes me up from your little head pushing on it). Last night I slept from 9:30 PM - 2:00 AM without waking up once and it was GLORIOUS! I pray that you continue to cooperate a little in this department so that when you do decide to make your arrival into this world I am a little bit rested for the many sleepless nights that lie ahead of me!

As you continue to grow your Daddy and I continue to patiently wait for your arrival in 8 short weeks (or less possibly - your GMa predicts you'll be born on October 17th). I will admit that the closer we get to your due date the more impatiently we wait, but we know that you need to continue to bake for a while longer so that you will come out as strong and healthy as possible. All I ask is that you don't weigh as much as your Daddy when he was born. Having a 9 pound baby scares me! One thing is for sure though; we will (and already do) love you with everything that we have!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Little Pumpkin...

When my Mom and I were shopping this weekend we came across this most adorable pumpkin costume for a newborn. It only seems fitting that Cami dress up as a pumpkin for her first Halloween since that's what she's making her Mommy look like lately.

I swear that my stomach has grown a ton overnight. Today at work I was so uncomfortable and even sitting didn't help to make me feel better. In fact, whenever I sat down today I felt as though someone was squeezing my chest and restricting me from breathing. Oh wait - that's right, someone (someone we plan to name Cambria) is pushing up on my chest and making it difficult to breathe!

Then there's the awful heartburn that has been making an ugly appearance lately. Usually I can deal pretty well with the heartburn but lately it's been an all day and all night affair and it is NOT fun or doable much longer. This morning as I was getting ready for work I dropped my brush on the floor. As I bent over to pick it up, which was a show in itself, I experienced the most burning sensation in my chest that I have ever had to deal with. For a minute I panicked that something was seriously wrong with me until it settled in that I am 32 weeks pregnant and that it's totally normal under these circumstances. Tums will remain my best friend for the next 8 weeks, that's for sure!

Okay - so back to the pumpkin. Our little pumpkin continues to grow each day and based on my belly size I am SURE of that! I guess I don't mind her making me look more and more like a pumpkin for the next 2 months under ONE condition: She must make her exit in time for Halloween so that the roles can be reversed.

Cambria, on Halloween night you better be born and ready to get dressed up as Mommy's Little Pumpkin. Your costume is adorable, ready and waiting! I can't wait to see you and I know neither can the rest of your family!!

Extreme Exhaustion!

Lately the exhaustion has hit me, and it's hit me HARD! I have heard from people that this exhaustion comes back with a vengence in the third trimester but I was convinced for a few weeks that I had escaped that awful end of pregnancy symptom - until now.

Over the past 2 weeks I have become increasingly more and more tired. It has almost gotten as bad as it was when I was first pregnant. The other day (Saturday) I woke up after sleeping a good long while and after being awake for only 2 hours I was ready to head back upstairs and climb into bed for a 2 hour nap. I guess it's just my body's way of telling me that I need to slow down and relax now while I can.

I have come to the conclusion that this tiredness would not be such a big problem if I didn't have to work full time when being this pregnant. By the time I get to work in the mornings now I am ready for a nap. The problem with that is - once I get to work I just run myself ragged for 8 straight hours before I can head home to do any type of relaxing. I guess I just have to keep looking at that 3D picture of Cambria that's sitting on my desk to remind myself that everything is worth it. Hard to believe in 8 short weeks she'll be here with me - and not to mention that I will get a nice long break from work to be home with her for a few months! :-)

Okay, exhaustion, I will somehow deal with you for a little while longer just so I can get my prize at the end of this 40 week journey!

31 Week Letter

Dear Little Miss Cambria,

I apologize for not writing a 30 week letter to you last week. Things were just too crazy in my life and I didn't get around to it. Now I am back in the swing of things and ready to write to you again.

As of today I am officially 31 weeks pregnant with you. Wow - it almost scares me to say that. 31 weeks seems so far along in my pregnancy and SO close to meeting you!! You are running out of room in my stomach and I'm a little curious as to how you'll even be living in there in another few weeks. Every time you make ANY type of movement now I not only feel it but I can see it from the outside too. Even a little girl at work today claimed she knew I was having a baby because she "saw my belly move" when she was standing next to me. Apparently I'm not the only one that sees you moving around a lot!

I love that you're growing and I love that each day my stomach seems as though it has doubled in size from the previous day. The picture above is a beautiful picture your Daddy took on the morning of Mammy's funeral. I was getting ready and he snapped the picture without me knowing. Your Daddy is fascinated lately at how big you are becoming too. I absolutely love how excited he is now that my belly is so big. Every day he kisses you numerous times and tells you how much he loves you. He has even given my stomach a new nickname: torpedo belly.

What a miracle it is to be pregnant with you and to have new life growing inside of me! As I've mentioned before, when I was little I always dreamed of the day I would find my Prince Charming, get married and be pregnant with a baby. Now that I am actually living that dream, pregnancy is nothing and everything that I expected it to be all rolled into one. Feeling you move inside me is NOTHING what I had imagined it to be - I don't know why and I can't explain it, it just isn't. On the same note, feeling you move inside of me is by far way more cool than I ever expected it to be as well! I will NEVER be able to verbally express the intense motherly bond that I share with you right now. I must admit - although I'm SO excited to meet you in 2 months I am also a little sad to see my pregnancy end. Once you're out in the wide open world that means I have to share you with other people. Rest assured too that there are PLENTY of people who will be pestering me constantly to spend LOTS of quality time with you - your Daddy being #1 on the list. :-) I guess I don't mind sharing with him, especially since he helped make you!

Stay safe, grow stronger, longer and more beautiful every single day. Soon enough you'll be making your departure into the real world to help Daddy and I figure out our next journey in life together: Parenthood! We love you with all of our hearts!!!

Love,
Mommy

Absence...

I realize that I have not posted anything on here in over a week. It seems that the title of my post, absence, is the theme that has taken over my life in the last week. First and foremost I have suffered a great deal of absence in my life recently. I have also suffered absence from my blog and from work as a by product.

Last Wednesday morning around 5:00 AM Jon and I got the call we have dreaded for so long. Jon's Grandmother, Mammy, had passed away in her sleep that evening. Immediately our hearts ached and our lives felt empty and the absence took over and caused much sadness. So many thoughts rushed through our minds: how fast can we get down there to be with his family, how is his grandfather going to handle this, how are we going to handle this, how is his mother going to handle this (she was in Scotland at the time of her passing) and jut the shock in knowing that our lives will never be the same without her here.

Mammy was a WONDERFUL woman. Jon has always looked up to her as a second mother. He grew up only a few streets over from his Grandparents when he was little and they took care of him every day before and after school. I remember when Jon and I started dating and I got to spend more and more time with his Grandparents how blessed I was. I saw the intense love and devotion they had for their grandchildren (they only have two: Jon and his brother) and the intense love they had for each other. I could not have been more blessed when I officially became part of their family and they began to think of me as one of their grandchildren too.

In all of the sorrow and sadness that I have had in the past week, I am now at peace with Mammy's passing. She was in a lot of pain before her death and she fought the pain and suffering for over 2 years. She was a definite fighter! She is now no longer in pain and she is looking down on all of us and watching over us all. She's also probably enjoying a cigarette (or should I say a few packs of them) since she gave them up years and years ago (long before I knew her) and she would often talk about how much she missed them.

One more reason that I am at total peace with Mammy's passing now is because I now know she saw her 4th great grandchild. On Monday afternoon Jon's Grandfather, Grandaddy, brought the computer downstairs and showed Mammy all of Cambria's 4D pictures AND the over sixteen minute video of our ultrasound that we had. She always talked about how great a father Jon would be and we wanted her to share in our experience. We know she's looking down on us, and Cambria, from heaven with a huge smile across her face. I am thankful that she will always be up there to be Cambria's guardian angel!

WE LOVE YOU MAMMY!!!

Kids and Babies

Since starting back to school last week I have made some realizations in regards to school aged kids and their fascination with babies (especially babies still in the womb). They are absolutely OBSESSED! They seem to want to do nothing but touch my belly (with or without permission) and give me 'advice' and ask me questions about babies.

One student (mind you, he does have special needs) looked over at me while his teacher was teaching a lesson, a very important one about playground rules, and started laughing. When I calmly tried to redirect his attention back to the teacher with some nonverbal prompts he continued to laugh even harder than before. When I very calmly in my teacher voice said, "Is there something that's distracting you?" he replied back very loudly, "You have a very fat belly". THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!!!

Then there was another time, actually this happened yesterday, when I was down at duty helping to make sure kids go home with the right adults. I was standing in the hallway doing my job when a little kindergartner came up to me and put her hand on my belly and said, "Why do you have a baby?" I was a little baffled by this question and so I quickly responded, "I don't know, I just do" and then I proceeded to turn away from her and pretend to be busy so she would not ask anymore questions regarding this matter. She then came back over to me, placed her hand on my stomach again and began lecturing me on how I should drink more water because everything I eat the baby eats. She even lifted her shirt up, pointed to her belly button and said, "Do you know this is how the baby gets food?" She also informed me that when I am nine (I think she meant nine months) my baby will be big and they will cut my stomach open at the hospital and take her out. Oh my....this whole situation made me very uncomfortable.

How do little kids know so much?!?! When I was little I just remember thinking that any married adult woman was supposed to be pregnant and I didn't question it or ponder any part of it when they were. It was just normal!

Why aren't kids that same way today? I have come to the conclusion that I am part of the problem. I, along with all of my other teacher colleagues, teach every child I come in contact with throughout the school day to be inquisitive in everything they do. We teach them that thinking about things and asking questions to learn how things work is good. I guess I should partially blame myself for the baby obsession - after all, they are just curious little ones asking lots of questions and trying to make sense of the whole baby phenomena that is pretty unfamiliar to them. I guess I just wish they would stop making me feel uncomfortable in their learning process.